Your Network Isn’t a CRM

Somewhere along the way, professional relationships became transactional. But people see through salesy behavior and one-sided connections instantly. If you want to build something that lasts, relationships have to be human first.

People can tell when they’re being treated like a contact instead of a human. They feel it in the perfectly timed check-in email or the polite message that carries an unspoken agenda. In an era of digital overload, this kind of behavior doesn’t build connection. It creates the ick. Professional relationships have become transactional. Cadence has replaced care. Touchpoints have replaced trust. People see through salesy behavior and one-sided connections immediately. If a relationship only shows up when there’s an ask, it was never really a relationship.

I’m protective of my relationships because they aren’t contacts. They’re friendships built slowly over time, through real conversations and mutual respect. Trust is fragile. It takes years to earn and moments to damage. When people treat relationships as something to extract from, others feel used, no matter how polished the message is. People want to work with people they know, like, and trust. No amount of networking tactics can replace the one-on-one work of building real relationships. I’d rather sit down for coffee or dinner and let conversation flow naturally than maintain a transactional email relationship.

Not every conversation turns into business, and that’s the point. The best opportunities come from friends and referrals. When I ran my business, I didn’t chase new work because I had spent years cultivating real relationships. When opportunities appeared, people thought of me. If you’re treating people as contacts, you won’t build something sustainable. Especially now. Invest in real, offline relationships. Care without an agenda. Let connections unfold naturally.